Misplaced Phrase
by BlueBastard
Summary: In which Kirk accidentally asks Spock to sleep with him, and the Vulcan doesn't exactly want to say no.


Title: Misplaced Phrase

Summary: In which Kirk accidentally asks Spock to sleep with him, and the Vulcan doesn't exactly want to say no.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek nor profit from it.

"Pardon me, Captain. But may you repeat that phrase. I am... uncertain I heard correctly due to the vocal differentials in your human dialect." Spock reprimanded himself for the pause. A slight show of the weakness his human blood had for emotion. But one that could be overlooked. Something that could not, however, be said of what the smug-looking Captain repeated, ever so forcefully.

The Vulcan words rolled off the rugged man's tongue with a harsh, but fluent air, "Tor tu aitlu guv-tvi-rivak-tor t'nash-veh ak'shem."

"You have practiced." Spock could think of nothing else to say. His mind had drawn a blank. Impossible.

Surely...

Surely the Captain could NOT know what he was asking.

"I know." Those blue eyes just beamed, "Uhura taught me the other day. It means go fuck yourself. I said it right, didn't I?"

The wide eyed look on his First Commander's face was filled with such shock Kirk questioned his own sanity for a moment. The Vulcan had never shown such unfiltered emotion other than on the transporter pad when his mom-

"Spock, where're you going?"

"Excuse me, Captain." Spock said hurriedly, turning with a stiff tension to his shoulders that belied any normal reaction.

"What do you mean? This *is* how you say it, right?" Kirk demanded curiously, repeating the phrase, his tone changing as his uncertainty bled through, "Tor tu aitlu... guv-tvi-rivak-tor t'nash-veh... ak'shem?" It was supposed to be a joke. To crack the ice between them.

Of course Jim Kirk had calculated a certain degree of error in which the Vulcan may react quite badly. But this... this he did NOT expect. The man had only retreated so fast once in the time he had met the man. And that had been when he had underhandedly gotten the Vulcan to emotionally compromise himself during his short reign as Acting Captain.

Jim was sure the slight tremble to the man's frame, and the tinge of green on the back of his ear tips -said Vulcan currently walking away from him- were completely due to Kirk's blurred vision from lack of sleep.

Spock's step faltered as he raised one hand, giving a slow half shake of his head as he mutely asked, "Please Captain, do not repeat that phrase again."

"What, this?" Kirk repeated stubbornly, demanding, "Why Spock?"

But the Vulcan had stopped mid stride, eyes closed in search of the serenity currently out of his reach. Images of his more than adequate Captain writhing naked beneath him searing his brain and motor functions. Images inspired by what Kirk kept innocently asking Spock in his native tongue.

'Tor tu aitlu guv-tvi-rivak-tor t'nash-veh ak'shem'

'Do. You. Want. To. Fuck me?'

Each syllable stressed by the various lilts and pauses in the vexingly naive Captain's voice.

The answer should have been simple enough.

No.

That was all Spock had to say.

NO.

The only trouble was... Spock could hardly convince his tongue to function much less speak that deceivingly easy reply.

He could feel his green blood pulsing. His Vulcan instincts straining to take over his lithe but more powerful form and simply pin his Captain against the wall. Or the floor.

Really.

It didn't matter.

The Captain didn't know what he was saying.

Spock took a deep breath.

He.

Didn't.

Know.

He exhaled, and opened his eyes.

Only to see the troubled face of his Captain standing before him.

Kirk had his mouth open, about to say something.

Something he quickly forgot at the burning look in his First Commander's eyes. They were almost entirely black, the pupils so dilated it nearly consumed the white and completely overran the natural brown of his irises. He had a fleeting moment of 'oh fuck me, I totally screwed with the wrong Vulcan' as he was SURE he was about to get his ass pummeled (NOT in the way Spock dared to desire) to the far quadrant and back, when the First Commander seemed to stop himself.

Just barely.

"Captain... Move." The effort to produce those sounds from rigid lips seemed to the world like Spock was in a single-handed brawl against fifty Klingons at once.

Kirk was speechless.

All he could do was step to the side and gape as his First Commander strode away down the hall.

He knew the Vulcan was a hard egg to crack. But really, he couldn't take a joke?


End file.
